Psalm 91:1-2 (Lilly’s Amplified)

A p r o n h e a d -- Lilly

Those who live in the shelter of the Most High,

look to Him as a definitive defense, a protecting shadow, planted, rooted, and

intentionally stuck,
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty,

find a peaceful sleep, a breathe-easy embrace in the threatening storm,

the coming chaos.

 
This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge,

my place to regroup, recoup, and take quiet, desperate respite,

my place of safety,

protection from threats without and disabling fears within;
He is my God,

Provider, Healer, Revealer, the One Who sees, Lover, my Abba Daddy,

and I trust him

because in this upside-down world, who have I but You.

Ps. 91:1-2 (NLB)

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Firebase Veghel, July 1971

It is July 3rd, 2018, and I am sitting in my office listening to playlist of songs that take me back in time as I write this. On this date in 1971 D Battery, 2.320th FA, 101st Airborne/Airmobile was on firebase Veghel in South Vietnam just a stone’s throw from the Ashau Valley. We had moved onto Veghel on July 1st and had been told we would be there at most five days. Turned out we spent 4 days there as on the morning of July 5th choppers started arriving at 07:00 to move us to a new firebase called Kim Quy.
When we arrived our captain (I believe it was Captain Jones who would later be tear gassed by his own men because he was a total ass of an officer) had us begin filling sandbags to fortify the position and did not even allow us any sleep over the next several days which combined with shooting a lot of fire missions day and night really wore us down. Combined with that our ammo section Sargent (also named Jones, no din except due to also being a total ass) miss-counted our supply of 105mm ammunition which resulted in our having 1000 rounds too many when July 5th rolled around and we needed to move. In order to not have to take 1000 rounds too many with us we were ordered to shoot up that ammo all night on July 4th. That amounts to about 167 rounds per gun or close to 7000 pounds.
We had men evacuated medically due to coming down with malaria and just overall fatigue. But we persevered and carried on. So on July 5th we moved onto the new firebase which had no prepared accommodations; and then it began to rain. We were struck by a typhoon name Harriet. Over 10 inches of rain were recorded with winds up to 138 mph were recorded at nearby army bases. To us we were sitting on top of a bare hill left to simply weather the proverbial storm. Five out of our six howitzers did not work due to not having been cleaned and maintained due to a week of very heavy shooting. Just about all of our ammo was wet and ruined.
This Fourth of July, as most of the past 47 years I stop and remember what we endured and reflect on the men I served with. We represent history, the past, not the present. But consider that the men and women who make up today’s military carry us with them as we carry them with us. We do what is asked and required of us because it is what is from the heart. Yes, none of us likes what we do, we despise war and want to be home and with loved ones. But our world does not let the warrior rest. We/they stand the eternal vigilance believing in something greater. We know not the reasons for each individual war nor the politics involved. Our oath is to something greater, not the president, not even the constitution but to doing what is right.
I believe Ken Burns missed it completely with his Vietnam series. The majority of men and women involved in the Vietnam War we there to bring a better life for the people of Vietnam, something the North Vietnamese were not interested in. Just like the Japanese and Germans of WWII were seeking to bring the worse to mankind and the free world stood against that so too did the men and women who served in Vietnam. We were not idealists, not anything special but just average young people doing what they were called upon to do.
And we paid the price, both then and now; the memories calling us back to a different and darker time. I believe that when each of us stands before God we will learn the truth of the why, why not, and who will be judged as wrong. Then and only then will healing finally come all the way down into our core and finally the truth will be known.
To the men and women serving today we from the past salute you and stand with you as people of honor. We know how dark the night is while standing guard; we know the loneliness of being halfway around the world in a place we would prefer not to be living in danger. Yet we know the honor you have of wearing a uniform of our nation seeking to make a difference in the lives of others. Thank you.

I Hate War

I can truthfully say that I hate war.  There are no good wars and I would have to ask if there are just ones.  Why am I saying this now during the time of Christmas?  This is a season for Joy and Love at the celebration of the coming Christ Child, so why talk about war.  Yes, Christmas is a time of Love and Joy, of giving and sharing, family and friends.  But at this time war is occurring, people are suffering and dying.  Militaries stand opposite each other seeking the opportunity to defeat the other.  Many will not come home at all and many will come home injured and maimed, physically, mentally and emotionally.  Families will not be together and even though it may be the troops in a faraway land who are threatened with physical harm the families back home suffer as well not knowing whether their loved ones are safe or are in harm’s way.  And all look for hope during their time of despair.

Christmas, 1970, was spent on a firebase in South Vietnam.  There was no joy there because a few hours earlier in setting up for a Christmas Eve cease fire there was a friendly fire incident where 12 of our fellow soldiers died.  Talk about rip the heart out of Christmas that will do it.  For the soldiers involved the exact cause is still unknown but the cause does not matter.  What matters is that 12 of our brothers did not come home to celebrate.  The ultimate gift man can receive is the gift of a Savior, the ultimate ruin is to have blood on your hands.  How, or rather, can they coexist?

Right now it is two weeks until Christmas 2015. Two Thousand and 15 some odd years since the first Christmas occurred, the actual Christmas Day.  We hold so strongly to that event so long ago and pull meaning out of the story even today.  At the same time, at least in America, most everyone is going nuts with shopping, lights, tinsel and general madness.  How much can they spend, how much says I love you, can I have as many lights on my house as the Griswold’s (yes, I watch National Lampoon’s Christmas and laugh).

So Christmas is coming once again and here I am talking about hating war.  Our nation’s fear level is increased about possible terrorist attacks within our nation, disturbing our peace at this time we hold dear.  Halfway around the world the military is fighting actual war and we are having to be prepared for more wars in different places, all combined with fears of possible threats around us.  If people cannot see the tragedy in this then they are blind.  If they cannot hear the cries of the suffering then they are deaf.  If they will not join and say that they also hate war then they are dumb.

I hate war and would choose to not go again to war.  But, if I must I will and if I could go in place of a young person and spare them the pain thus allowing them to know the fullness of life without seeing war I would go in their place.  And on top of it all this Christmas I will worship and rejoice at the greatest gift man has ever received, the Christ Child, born for you and for me.

We Need Only Look

Has anyone ever told you “You need only look?” All around us life itself is screaming out that it is. Life is alive, there is more than the mundane and it is there for us to see it. I am constantly amazed by the work of astronomers and particle physicists. On one hand they are reaching out and seeing life billions of light years away and on the other they strip away the layers that build life like that of an onion, getting ever smaller and finding more wonder.

Astronomers say that the universe is 13 billion lights years across. I would like to go to the very edge and stick my hand through and beyond the boundary to find out what is beyond. Particle physicists say they have found the “God particle” that is the basis for everything. I wonder what they will find when they build a bigger super collider and split that particle, something even smaller I should wonder.

But what about you and me, what can we see if we look around us? One of my favorite books is “The Little Prince” by Antoine De Saint-Exupery (add an apostrophe above the e). It is a whimsical tale for children of all ages (even age 64). He was a French pilot both before WWII and during it, where he died. Another book he wrote is titled “Wind, Sand and Stars” in which he talks about his time as a pilot over the deserts of Africa, the Andes Mountains and the Pyrenees in Europe. This was all during the time flying was in its infancy and was very lonely and dangerous.

The last two and a half pages tell of his traveling by rail on a long journey. At one o’clock in the morning he had the urge to tour the rail cars throughout its length. When he came upon the third class coaches he found them full of Polish workmen being sent home from France back to Poland. The book was first copyrighted in 1939 so this was on the eve of WWII and was a time of great turmoil throughout the land. De Saint-Exupery noted that they all looked like they had lost half of their humanity. He sat down and observed a couple asleep and noticed a child wedged between them. The thought that struck him upon looking closely at this child was that they had the face of a musician, that this child was a Mozart, a life full of beautiful promise. Yet, De Saint-Exupery concluded, this little Mozart will be shaped like the rest by the common stamping machine. He would grow up to love shoddy music and that this Mozart would be condemned.

We need only look and we too shall see this life around us, the lives stamped out by what is accepted as okay, never reaching the highest levels each of us can achieve. At the same time we can go out and see a sunset, the stars at night or any one of hundreds of different things that show forth the wonder of life and all that are good. We need the vision of each end of the spectrum to keep us in balance and that keep us striving to improve our world and all that call it home.

Less than a half page later De Saint-Exupery ends his book with a statement that really struck home with me in several ways. His statement, “Only the Spirit, if it breathes life upon the clay, can create Man.” I love that statement. Yes, we are clay, from the dust we can and from the dust we shall return. It is only when the Spirit breathes upon us that life is truly created. We need only look and we need only bring the life of the Spirit with us to find life.

Flawed Christian, Pt. 2

This is part 2 of “Flawed Christian” and I would like to expound on what I meant in part 1. I said I was flawed and that is just what I meant. I am not perfect (I already said that) and I do not meet the standard Jesus set to be perfect as the Father in Heaven is. How am I not? Consider how you and I are created, we are tripartite beings, body, mind and spirit. Maybe you want to say body, soul and spirit, to me that is minor. We are three part beings.
First we are body, flesh, organic, we bleed and we sweat, we physically feel pain and pleasure. That is body. It is physical and it is what some people think is all we are. Further we all decay and eventually die. No getting around that except for one possible exception. A concept in Christianity is stated born once die twice. Born twice, die once meaning that once we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior we only die physically but we will live forever with God. I am not going to debate that concept here as it is not part of this story.
The only possible exception is Lazarus. Jesus raised him from the dead. It is written there that Lazarus was good and dead and ripe for several days when Jesus raised him. So, if Lazarus died then he died the death we all face and Jesus brought him back from the dead to live again. So did Lazarus die a second time? Now that is an interesting question to me. Could it be that in Israel right now is a little old 2,000 year old man who has a very bad attitude because Jesus brought him back from the dead and now he has to wait on Jesus coming back again. I know I would not be a happy camper. That is just some food for thought for the theological types.
I am 63 years old and not getting any younger. My body is physically decaying and beginning to break down. Is that a sin? No, that is the normal process of life. If the super Christian crowd prays for me to be healed what would it look like? Would it be the body of a young, healthy male or would it be the current state I am in being more comfortable and better able to perform normal routine activities? My point for this post is that I am flawed. I can no longer do many of the things I once could. Flawed is normal and I don’t have to try and be something I am not. Last summer I tried something I can no longer do. I was at the big city pool doing my water exercises and was watching kids jumping off the diving board with another lady who was doing the same thing as I was. She says that looks like fun, I think I will try it and she did. Nice dive lady. So I thought I would also and got up there on the board. Tested the board out for spring and distance of the steps with no problem. Planned on doing a simple jackknife and started to go up on one leg when the leg I went up on said “no you don’t.” I collapsed under me and I went off the board at a 45 degree angle on my shoulder in a complete belly flop that I sure was amazing to watch. No more going off the board for me.
We are mind, we have a brain (yes that is part of the body) that contains our learning ability. By this age mine should be chock full of knowledge and to an extent it is. 63 years of history and study and all kinds of stuff in there. Do you know the name of Dudley Do-right’s horse? I have that piece of wonderful knowledge stored away. But here comes a major factor in being a flawed Christian. The mind is where choices come in and quite often I choose that which is not pleasing to God and which He calls sin. I am flawed by my being weak in will and the choices I make. In Romans, chapter 7, Paul says that he does the things he does not want to do and does not do the things he should do. The great apostle Paul is saying he too is flawed. Puts us in good company I suppose.
How does Paul answer this dilemma? The answer is actually easy; the accepting of it is the hard part. In Romans, chapter 7, Paul goes on and says: “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Then in Romans, chapter 8, Paul ices the cake saying: “God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh.”
This is Christmas folks, the time we celebrate the birth of Jesus, God made man. God came down from heaven and became flesh and blood, just like you and me, an baby infant, helpless and totally dependent on his mother to bring him into the world. Further, God came down in the lowliest of places to the most humble of people, poor and in a distant land from home, alone.
Yet they were not alone by a long shot. Who did God send to bear witness of this miracle? Shepherds that is who. Guys working the graveyard shift minding their own business, nice quiet evening out looking at the stars and making small talk about the local camel races. And lo, an angel appeared to them and the glory of God shone all around them! Hey, I am awake, okay. Fear not, for I bring tidings of great joy. Go down and look for the son of King David (really dropping names here) born this day. Oh, and by the way you will find him in the stable, in a manger, a feed trough if you will. What, the son of the great king David in a stable, in a manger, for shame, for shame. But that is how God comes to you and to me, humbly, poor, not lifting Himself up. He comes as a babe, helpless, willing to just “be” himself, no being anything special. That is our King, willing to serve.
Therein lies the key, are we willing to just be a servant, nothing special? That is all Jesus asks of us. Will you and I give Him our flawed selves this Christmas and allow Him to use us as He sees fit. I know I am not worthy, that I am flawed and am a sinner of the highest order (there is actually only one order of sinner and that is chief) yet God still chooses to occasionally work through me.
I hope and pray our new priest (Rev, Dr.) is a shepherd who is will to be approached by angels who come proclaiming good news and I hope he knows where the best grass is for his sheep because I am needy. This Christmas, his first with us, I hope and pray he leads us to lift our voices and hands to worship the coming of the King, son of God and son of Man. All I can say is Baaahhhh! Merry Christmas.

Flawed Christian

I am a flawed Christian.  There I said and it is off my chest.  In Matthew 5:48 Jesus Himself says “Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  I am definitely not what Jesus says I am to be, and I know it all too well.  Surprise, neither are you so don’t try and pretend you aren’t.

This morning I had a revelation and it went like this. Last night I stayed up way too late, my digestive system was rumbling, did not sleep well and the alarm keeps annoying me to get up and go to church.  So I kept hitting snooze until I was just too uncomfortable to stay in bed.  During the time of snoozing my mind was not fully cognizant so deeper thoughts were able to come forth, hence the revelation.  I was thinking about our new priest (I am an Episcopalian) who is a Rev. Dr. and we all know that a PhD means “piled higher and deeper.”  But he is called to be the shepherd of our church, the flock, and we are called to be his sheep.  Then I began reciting Psalm 23, “the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.  He makest (I love King Jimmy) me lie down in green pastures…”  I have been taught that in olden days if a shepherd has a sheep that continues to stray he will actually break the sheep’s legs to get it to lie down and learn not to stray.

It is the shepherd’s job to lead the sheep to green grass and protect them from wolves.  Lord knows the world today is full of wolves.  Over the years, however, I have learned that the priests and preachers, the myriad of teachers, evangelists, and all of the theological types are also just like me, flawed, imperfect.  The problem comes in when they try to act perfect and they preach and teach like they are perfect and that we should be like them and act the part.  It does not work.  We are all flawed and imperfect and we are all dying, some faster than others.

So much of the Christian world today puts on a front and wants to have all the answers to being perfect and doing things right.  If you brush your teeth with Pepsodent your will have white teeth, if you use Dove soap you will have clean and smooth skin.  If you drive some car in some specific color you will be an in person, and so forth and so on.  It does not work.

In the modern Christian church if you pray a certain way you can have an inside line to God and your prayers will be answered the way you want.  If you follow certain teachings then you will be living the “good” Christian life and will be counted as righteous.  And oh yes, if you give so much of your money God will rain down even more money.  It is a guaranteed rate of return.  Furthermore, you should not hurt or feel pain, that is very unChristlike.

When we are born we begin the journey to death and we begin to decay and fall apart.  Yes, at a young age we are still on the uphill but at some point the journey starts going downhill.  Maybe very slowly and maybe the journey is very quick.  Maybe the monster named cancer will strike or any of a number of other unnatural diseases and ailments.  Perhaps an accident, tragedy or your life will be taken in a senseless crime of murder.  That has been happening a lot lately.  Just watch the evening news but don’t try and keep score as it is scary and depressing.

So back to our new Episcopal priest and how he plays into this revelation I had.  What I realized is that Episcopal priests, more than any other minsters or theologians I am aware of know that they are also flawed and imperfect.  And that is of great benefit to them.  They know there are no simple answers, nothing pat to offer.  Instead they can just “be” with their sheep.  They can tend them, love them, and wash their wounds.  That, I think, is what Jesus would do and what He does do.  That is honest ministry and that is what people need to draw them closer to the Lord.

God Himself does not offer us answers except to offer us Himself.  He offered Himself so deeply that He came down from heaven as a man, a man just like you and me (I use the term man in the third person meaning man and woman).  This week we celebrate His coming, God Himself coming, as a newborn babe, totally innocent and helpless, meek and mild, borne of a woman into a harsh world.  Jesus came to be born in a stable; sorry the hotel/motel is full go away, to show us God Himself in all of His glory.  The glory Jesus revealed first came to shepherd’s, men like our new priest, people just doing a job who took the time away to go and behold Him, the Promised One.

Merry Christmas to all.  Blessings in Jesus name.

VETERAN PEACEMAKERS- Nov 11

A DEVOTED LIFE

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:10

Today is the day we honor our veterans in the United States. Appropriately, ceremonies with be held in appreciation of the sacrifice that so many have given in the service of our country. These ceremonies will inherently have a melancholy mood at least for me.

As I have written before (Imagine a World without Veterans), veterans are the product of war and threats of war. I recently ran across a quote by Dr. Martyn Lloyd Jones in which he asked a series of pertinent questions.

Why are there wars in the world?
Why is there this constant international tension?
What is the matter with the world?
Why war and all the unhappiness and turmoil and discord amongst men?
According to this Beatitude (Matthew 5:10),
there is only one answer to these questions-sin.
Nothing else; just sin.”

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